


Better Now

by Pink_Sparkly_Witch



Series: Soulmates [3]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Angst, Explicit Language, Gen, Mentions of Sex, Protective Jensen, Protective Jensen Ackles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:41:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29977527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pink_Sparkly_Witch/pseuds/Pink_Sparkly_Witch
Summary: It’s the end of summer in 2006 and two weeks ago, Ava was supposed to get married.  Ben’s in Vancouver and wants to talk so Ava agrees to meet him for lunch.  Afterwards, she goes to Jensen's apartment to watch the football game with his parents and Jared.  Neither of her co-stars are happy that Ben asked her for a second chance.  Least of all Jensen, whose feelings have been getting even stronger for her since they spent the night together in San Diego.Characters: Jensen Ackles, Ava Broussard (OFC), Jared Padalecki, Alan Ackles, Donna Ackles and Ben Miller (mentioned).Warnings: Swearing, angst, angry!Jensen, protective!Jensen, annoying!Jared (in a little brother way!), mentions of cheating, lying, lack of intimacy in a previous relationship, talk and comments eluding to an emotionally abusive relationship.
Relationships: Jensen Ackles/Original Female Character(s), Jensen Ackles/Other(s)
Series: Soulmates [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2132037
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Better Now

**Author's Note:**

> I’m Scottish and know practically nothing about American Football. I know the teams mentioned exist, but have no idea if they’d actually play against each other! Apologies if any of it is inaccurate. The Cowboys have been used for obvious reasons, the other two teams suit my OFC's background with a Boston mother and upbringing and a New Orleans father. However, this is a complete work of fiction and as such anything goes so… meh! This has not been beta'd so all mistakes are my own.

Arriving a little later than planned Ava knocked on Jensen’s door, wishing she’d had time to change into something more fitting for this evenings activities suddenly feeling very overdressed in her white cotton and lace summer dress and tan heels.  
“Hey- wow!” Jensen said stunned. Standing in his doorway, mouth open as he took her in. “Sorry!” He said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously and stepping out the way to let her in. “Come in. How are you?” He leaned down to hug her as he closed the door behind them.  
“I’m really good, Jay. You doing OK?”  
“Yeah,” he reluctantly released his hold on her, “can I get you a drink? Beer? Wine? Whiskey?”  
“Wine would be great, thank you,” she smiled. Jensen nodded his head and headed towards the kitchen.  
“You look nice. Were you on a date?” Jared asked as he greeted Ava with a hug. She then hugged Jensen’s parents who were in Vancouver visiting.

Jensen had invited Jared and her over to his apartment for drinks, Chinese food and, most important to the room full of Texans, to watch the Cowboys game. She could see everyone had already had a few drinks and smiled as she said thank you to Jensen as he handed her a glass of wine.  
“What kinda dates have you been on that you get home at 4:30?” Jensen retorted sarcastically, hoping to hell her answer would be no.  
“Uh, brunch dates, lunch dates, day dates?” Jared answered. Jensen rolled his eyes and turned to Ava.  
“Did you have a good time?” He asked her with the fake smile he’d perfected by being an actor.  
“Ooh, what’s in the gift bag? It’s not anyone’s birthday is it? Shit! Is it your birthday?” Jared panicked and Ava laughed.  
“No, it’s not my birthday and as far as I know, it’s no-one else’s birthday either. It’s just a bag of some of my stuff.” Everyone looked at her, confusion evident on their faces.  
“And you’re carrying it around because…?” Jared said.  
Ava sighed loudly, puffing her cheeks out, “I knew I should’ve dropped this upstairs before I came here! Can’t get anything past you, Jare.” She said with a laugh as she ignored him and sat down on the loveseat by the French doors that led to Jensen’s balcony area.

Placing the gift bag and her handbag on the floor next to her, she made herself comfortable and took a sip of wine, almost choking when she saw all eyes in the room were on her.  
“What?” She said innocently.  
“Why are you avoiding my question?” Jared asked tilting his head and smirking at her.  
“What question?”  
“You know what question!”  
“If I knew what you were talking about, I wouldn’t have asked now, would I?”  
“You’re probably the smartest person in this room, little Miss ‘I could’ve gone to Harvard!’ Playing dumb really doesn’t suit you!”  
“Really? That’s what you think I’m doing?”  
“Why are you deflecting your answers?”  
“Why are you being an even bigger pain in the ass than usual?” She countered.  
“Oh! Now you’re being defensive! Interesting!”  
“I’m glad my lame ass life has you so intrigued,” she said as she rolled her eyes at him.  
“Who were you on a date with?” Jared fired back.  
“Who said I was on a date?”  
“Are you embarrassed by him?”  
“Come on Jare, you’ve met my family! No one embarrasses me.”  
“Do we know him? Is it someone from set?”  
“Why do you care so much?”  
“My God, you’re a tough one to crack!” Jared fumed getting frustrated.  
“Four sisters, Jared. I can do this all night!”  
“Let’s not,” Jensen said stepping in to defend Ava. “Jare, leave her alone. It’s none of our business where she was or who she was with.”  
“Thank you, Jay!” She said irritated.  
“Why are you being so cagey about where you were?” Jared tried again.  
“Why do you wanna know so bad?” She was getting angry now.  
“Because you come in here, looking like…”  
“You better be very careful what comes outta your mouth next!” Jensen warned and Jared rolled his eyes before he continued.  
“You haven’t gone out looking like that in months. I just want to know who got you to…”  
“Looking like what?” Ava interrupted. “Got me to what, Jare? Wear a dress? Heels? Put makeup on? Wear my hair down? Dress up? Look pretty? I can’t just look ‘like that’ because I want to, no? It has to be for a man?”

Jared was shifting so uncomfortably that he couldn’t see what everyone else in the room saw, the way Ava’s eyes danced with mischief. She knew she hadn’t taken much pride in her appearance lately, and she was never one to pass up an opportunity to mess with Jared.  
“No! I’m sorry Ava, I didn’t mean… of course you can… you don’t have to…” he stuttered, throwing a ‘help me’ look in Jensen’s direction.  
“Jare,” she laughed, “calm down, I’m just messing with you! But there is a lesson here; remember it and don’t do it again. I know how much of a mess I’ve been for the past few months.”  
“You weren’t a mess, Ava,” Jensen said.  
“That’s sweet of you to say. You’re a terrible liar but thank you for trying to make me feel better.” She smiled.  
“You have us all intrigued about your day now, though sweetheart,” Donna said. “You look so beautiful; I find it hard to believe it wasn’t for someone special.”  
“I wasn’t kidding. I did it for me.” Intrigue covered the faces of everyone in the room and she smiled, knowing that they all cared too much about her to let it go.  
“I went for lunch. With Ben.”

“You did what?” Jared screeched at the same time as Jensen shouted, “are you kidding me?” Ava took a large gulp of wine, feeling nervous at the glares being directed her way.  
“He called me last week, said he was playing a gig in town and that he still had some of my stuff,” she pointed to the gift bag, “and that he wanted to talk. I wasn’t sure at first and told him I had to think about it. I texted him a couple days later and told him I’d meet him for lunch today so we could talk.”  
“Ava, please tell me you’re not thinking about getting back with him?” Jensen begged as he took a seat next to her. Ava glanced at him before dropping her gaze to her lap, suddenly fascinated by her painted nails.  
“Honestly, I didn’t know what was going to happen or what I wanted to happen. If anything. When I was getting ready, I felt…” her hands gesticulated wildly looking for the right words, “giddy at the effort I was putting into it. But when I thought about him, or where I was going and why, I felt this foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. I realised that I didn’t care about looking good for him. I wasn’t doing it to parade myself in his face and be like ‘here’s what you could’ve had!’ OK, maybe there was a teeny tiny part of me that did that,” she giggled. “But mostly, I just wanted to look and feel good about myself for what was probably the first time since we broke up. Get some answers and closure so I could move on, finish healing and look damn good while I did it.”  
“How did it go? Did you get what you needed?” Jensen asked, jaw tense.  
“Yeah. He apologised for cheating on me. Told me he was jealous that I was in another country working on a show that had a predominately male cast and crew. It got worse when I was moved to main cast and I’d be spending less time with him and more time with-” she trailed off, not wanting to single out Jensen, who was the main cause of Ben’s jealousy and picked her words carefully. “He convinced himself that I was sleeping with one - or both - of you, so he slept with other women.”  
“Wait,” Jensen interrupted anger crossing his face. “Women? Plural? That bastard cheated on you more than once?”  
“Yeah. Surprised me too. Turns out, he cheated on me with a few different women. Multiple times. Which probably explains his lack of uh, interest in me,” she said, her cheeks colouring slightly as she realised she’d shared a little too much.  
“Ava, I’m so sorry,” Jared said. He was now sitting on the floor cross-legged in front of her.  
“He told me he missed me and letting me go was the biggest mistake of his life and could I give him a second chance.” She couldn’t hold back her laugh as Jensen’s dad scoffed.  
“Leopards don’t change their spots, darlin’. You’re best keeping away from him.”

“Something wasn’t adding up though and I knew he wasn’t telling me the whole truth, you know? He said the cheating only started when I took this role and he was jealous of you guys. But…” she stopped to think about what she could say to the company she was in and would they be OK with it.  
“Go on, honey. We’re all adults here.” Donna smiled kindly. Ava blushed again as she returned the smile.  
“Things in the, uh… bedroom were only hot when he was in Vancouver with me. Probably fuelled by his feelings of inadequacy around guys who are as broad as they are tall. And by hot, I mean like… lukewarm at best. At home, things had steadily been getting colder for months.”  
“And you were still going to marry him?” Jensen asked incredulously.  
“A relationship isn’t all about sex, Jensen,” she replied quietly, although no-one missed her defensive tone.  
“Relationship?!” He scoffed. “You think that was a relationship? Giving you no affection? Only having sex with you because he was jealous? For what? To prove to himself he’s a man? Making you doubt his love for you over and over again? Tearing you down piece by piece? Cheating on you? Well, I’ve got news for you about men and relationships, Princess! He was not a man and that most certainly was not a relationship! A man wouldn’t do what he did to you. A man wouldn’t treat you like shit, belittle you and play with your emotions like he did. He would tell you he loved you. Every single day. And he would show you. Every day. Leaving you in no doubt who your man is and who his girl is. A man wouldn’t fuck you one day and toss you aside the next just because he’s jealous and thinks he has a point to prove. A man wouldn’t make you feel like you were inadequate in the bedroom, just because he doesn’t know how to please you.” He stopped. Aware his voice had been getting louder and louder and that he might have shared too much with the others in the room.

Ava’s head dropped down and her eyes met the floor as the weight of his words sunk in and she saw the others try and hide the shock on their faces. She realised in that moment that he had as she suspected, picked up on her insecurities from Comic Con a few weeks ago. Jensen softened his tone and spoke quieter when he continued. “He would make love to you and tell you that you are the only woman he ever wants to be intimate with. He would listen to you and your body and let them teach him how to please you - trusting she will do the same for him. A man doesn’t insult or put his girl down in front of people! Hell, a real man doesn’t do that, period! He builds her up with love and confidence and steps up beside her while she roars and behind her through everything else. A man wouldn’t show you half-assed or inappropriate affections that make you uncomfortable just because he’s an insecure little boy who’s punching so far above his weight and trying way too hard to mark his territory. A real man doesn’t need justification to show you an ounce of affection, Ava. Nor does he need to grope your ass or tits like you’re a piece of meat.” Ava snapped her eyes to his, shocked? Embarrassed? Ashamed? She honestly didn’t know anymore. All of those emotions rolled into one big ball of white-hot fury a while ago for her.

“Oh yeah, you really think I didn’t see the way he’d paw all over you whenever he was on set and how tense you’d get? We all saw it, Ava. He’s a dick that didn’t deserve you then and sure as shit doesn’t deserve a second chance with you. He cheated on you. Because he was jealous! You deserve better, Ava!” His voice was raised again now, getting louder and angrier the longer he ranted, and it made her put her hackles up in defence, but she kept her voice as even as she could and used all her willpower to stay calm and not cry.  
“You think I don’t know that?” She whispered. “That everything you said hasn’t crossed my mind a million times? That I haven’t heard it all before from Hilarie? My sisters? All four of them, by the way. My mom? Da-.” Her voice cracked and her bottom lip trembled as the conversation with her father replayed in her mind. He tried to warn her. Told her he would end up cheating on her and leave her broken hearted. “I wish I couldn’t remember what he had to say to me. Hell, even my goddamn Gram’ma put in her two cents worth! And now you? You all must think I’m really gullible and stupid! You know, I was starting to feel better about myself after what happened today. I was proud of the way I handled this and after that…” she gestured wildly again as if batting a fly that was in front of her face, “that… speech, you’ve knocked me back down a few steps and don’t I just feel fan-fucking-tastic about myself now? Way to kick a girl back down when she’s using everything she fucking has to claw her way out of the abyss, Jay.” Her hurt was clear to everyone in the room even before she wiped at the single tear falling down her cheek. She really hadn’t meant to take her frustration out on him, but she was fed up with the people who supposedly loved her pointing out Ben’s faults and how she shouldn’t have stayed with him and that she should’ve seen this coming. She knew all too well what the problems were.

Jensen turned to look at her and saw the hurt and defiance reflecting in her watery eyes. She was trying so hard not to cry in front of everyone and he knew he’d gone too far. He felt awful and wished more than anything he could take back every word. He realised he made a huge mistake. This was a conversation he should’ve had with her when they were alone, when he wasn’t pissed and a little jealous she’d gone out with her ex but probably the most important thing? He shouldn’t have brought her down and made her feel ever smaller. That’s what he had done to her. God, I’m no better than him, he thought.

“I’m sorry, Ava. After making a big speech about what a man should do, and here I am, no better than him. I honestly didn’t mean for any of that to sound like I was having a go at you or that any of this was your fault, because it isn’t. It’s just, what he did to you makes me so mad. And to know that you let him treat you like that and for you to think you deserved it-” he trailed off and looked at his feet.  
“No, I’m sorry, Jay. Everyone just cares about me and I appreciate that. Really, I do. But everyone keeps assuming I didn’t know there was a problem. I knew. More than any of you realise. I lived it.”  
“Then why? Why were you still gonna go through with the wedding?” It was Jared’s concerned voice this time.  
“Because I was in love. Or at least, at the time I thought I was. I thought I could fix it. You have no idea how hard I was trying to fix it. Turns out you can’t fix something that’s one-sided. I was giving it until I had to come back up here for filming to change. His cheating just moved things along quicker,” she smiled sadly. “You know, it wasn’t always like that. He used to be so good to me.” She smiled at the memory before a flash of something more ominous came over her features, “until I had a ring on my finger,” she didn’t dare look at Jensen for fear of seeing the pity everyone seemed to have for her these days. She couldn’t stand it. Not from him.

“So, uhm. I think I know the answer to this now, but what did you say to that second chance he asked for?” Jensen said, trying to bring the conversation back to what had happened that day to make Ava look happier than she had in months. At least until he’d opened his big mouth. He felt truly awful about his earlier outburst and he’d definitely be apologising more to her later in private. He owed her that much. And possibly an explanation for it. He’d only just started to accept that his feelings for Ava were quickly turning into love. He wasn’t, however, ready for her to know that quite yet. Plus, he knew that was the last thing on her mind right now.  
“Oh, um, yeah, so I told him if he wanted me to consider it, he had to tell me everything - no lies. Where we went wrong. Why he stopped sleeping with me a while before he said the cheating started and why he made sure I caught him that day.”  
“You think he meant that?” Jared said.  
“I thought so, but I’d only ever mentioned it to Jay. At least now I know. He told me everything and I believe it’s mostly the truth. I still think he’s bullshitting about a few things, but it doesn’t matter to me anymore.” She downed what must’ve been half her glass in one gulp and contemplated downing the rest of it before taking a deep breath. “He said that I’m far too good for him and he never understood what I saw in him.”  
“Understatement of the decade!” Jensen spat as he took her glass for a refill and with a nod of his head asked if anyone else wanted another drink.  
“That’s what started his jealousy. He hated it when I spoke to other men, even his friends. God, even his own brother! When a guy looked at me, he said he knew they were asking themselves ‘what is someone like her doing with someone like him’. Every time I spoke to a guy, he pictured me leaving him for them. It got worse when he met the two of you for the first time and he felt inferior, less masculine or some stupid Neanderthal shit like that.” She scoffed. “I know I didn’t have to defend myself to him. I’d done nothing wrong, but there was nothing I could do or say to prove to him that I only wanted him. Even wearing his ring didn’t appease him.

“The band have quite a lot of - I hate this word, but if the shoe fits - groupies and he couldn’t understand, given how he was with jealousy, why I was never fazed by them throwing themselves at him. How I was never jealous of anyone, but that’s not really who I am. Or maybe, I just didn’t think he was worth that emotion, I don’t know. Anyway, he noticed those girls would flirt and try harder with him when I was there and although he knew they were just using him to, and I quote ‘get one over on the hot girl,’ he started sleeping with two of the girls who always showed up in the dressing room of whatever L.A. club they were playing. One before the show and the other after. Even when I was there, and he knew he could be caught. Classy right? Eventually, one of his band mates caught him and put him straight on a few things. This is the part I’m calling bullshit.

“Apparently, he felt so bad about cheating on me and knew he had to either come clean or end things with me, but he thought it was my decision to make. So, rather than sit down and talk like the adults we are, he planned for me to catch him with woman number three – who I found out, he was having a full-blown affair with. You know, the girl he went public with less than two weeks after I ended things. I mean seriously? Who does that? Knowing him the way I do and how vindictive he can be, I’d bet good money he genuinely thought I was sleeping with one of you guys and was going to leave him so he got in there first. I think when he saw how shocked and hurt I was when I caught him, he realised it was all in his head and he regretted what he did. It really doesn’t matter to me anymore. I asked him to tell me the truth and he didn’t. At least not the whole truth. Makes me wonder what else he lied about. Oh, and I’m pretty sure he lied about how many women there were too.”  
“Really? Why?” Jared asked with a frown.  
“Just a hunch. Something still doesn’t feel right. Women’s intuition, maybe?”  
“Always trust that, sweetie,” Donna added. “It’s right more times than it’s wrong.”

“After that, he said he was sorry for everything he did. That it wasn’t my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong and I didn’t deserve to be treated so badly. It was all on him. He told me he missed me and hoped now that everything was out in the open, that I’d take some time and think about giving us a second chance.”  
“What did you tell him, sweetie?” Donna said.  
“I was honest with him. I told him I didn’t need to think about it. He broke more than my heart. I’d lost my faith in love, trust, and monogamy. All those months he was with other women, I was losing my confidence bit by bit. While he was snoring next to me, I spent hours, lying awake wondering why he wasn’t having sex with me anymore. Didn’t he love me? Was he not attracted to me? Am I not doing it how he likes it? Does he have some weird kink I don’t know about? Is he having problems down there? Should we even be getting married?” A few murmurs of laughter were heard at the unconscious slip into her native Boston twang.

“I told him that I lost all my self-esteem and he’d stolen my self-worth. That I was completely broken. The only thing I’ve ever asked him for, was his love. He didn’t give me that. All I wanted from him today was the truth and he didn’t give me that either. I told him we were over long before we split anyway. I thanked him...”  
“What’s that now?” Alan said.  
“I know how that sounds, but as awful as it was - and still is, what he did has made me stronger. Better. I know now what I want in life. And what I don’t. I’m gaining confidence in myself again and my self-loathing is gone. I shouldn’t have to ask to be loved and I deserve to be someone’s first choice. Their everything. Not an afterthought or a trophy wife,” Jensen turned to her with a proud smile on his obscenely handsome face.

“Yes Jay, I know that’s all I ever was to him,” she smiled wistfully at Jensen’s big grin and he pulled her to him in a side hug and placed a kiss to her temple. She knew he was happy she’d realised the truth and she was beginning to see her worth. He’d told her enough times. “I thanked him for telling me most of the truth and returning my things. Told him that I was a different person now and I knew that, although I had loved him, I had never been in love with him and that if he had loved me, even if it was only in the way that I had loved him, he would’ve trusted me and wouldn’t have hurt me so deeply by sleeping with those other women. I said it’d been good to see him and I hoped he found happiness with someone who loved him, but it wasn’t going to be me.”

“You OK, honey?” Donna asked her kindly.  
“Yeah. I’m better now. I’m over what happened for the most part but some things might still take a while. But I’m happy knowing that it wasn’t my fault and I didn’t do anything wrong. That I’m not crazy! I got closure from that part of my life and I’m ready to start moving on.” She smiled happily at everyone and let out a gentle laugh, “please, I’ve done enough talking today! Isn’t the game starting soon?”  
“I think a more important question is whose side are you gonna be on?” Jared jokes as he stood from his spot on the floor, leaned forward and placed a kiss to the top of Ava’s head.  
“Well, the Pats are playing tomorrow, so as long as it’s not the Saints?”  
“It’s the Giants!” Knowing the huge sporting rivalry between Boston and New York, Jensen grinned as he watched her break into a wide smile.  
“Then let’s go Cowboys!” She shouted making the Texans cheer.


End file.
